Before I Go To Sleep

Sidney - through my yawns, i make myself write to you. I have been neglectful, to say the least and i apologize with body and mind.

you are asleep at the moment and will wake up soon. we will join together and share in our nightly moment with the other. your smile will bring me peace and your soft and graceful cooing will melt my heart.

lately, you have been practicing laughing. It is a joy to listen to you inhale your giggles. You are now three months of age and have enjoyed walks around purgatory park, library visits with your siblings, picnics with your family and countless car rides - taking your brothers and sister places of entertainment.

I have to mention, before i fall asleep, that right now, Sting in playing in your room, Just like your brother Perry, your favorite lullaby seems to be from Sting. You are quieted instantly when it comes on.

i love you and i look forward to your awakening in an hour or so.

Youll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
Youll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
Well forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that Ive broken
But I swear in the days still left
Well walk in the fields of gold
Well walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
Youll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold

Sidney - you are presently laying to my left at 9:26 at night. you are finally asleep. this afternoon has been tough on you and you have been crying off and on - even when i would try to nurse you, you would break out in cries. i put you in your crib and you lasted a short while. i came and got you and put you in my arms and carried you to my bed. you fell asleep instantly and you are still asleep. last night, i went and got you around 1am, brought you to bed because i was very tired (as i am now) and nursed you back to sleep. i had 3cm left of the bed to sleep on and of course, i could have moved you over, but i didn't. i let you sleep - and i barely had enough room for myself. this reminds me of your dad because sometimes he will act in the same way -- with me. i am off on a non attractive verbage tangent.

updates: smiling all the time. beginning a cute little laugh. staring contests -- you win! talking with new language with great passion. sleeping sporadically throughout the day. growing into a very big boy. 16 pounds at the moment.

okay - you are beginning to get restless. i should go. i love you sooooooo much!